The NNFL (New NFL)

Welcome to the NNFL, we are striving to make the NFL a safer and more enjoyable experience for our future players. We want players to change the way they think about tackling and make it more of an art.

When you think of tackling, you think of hurling yourself at a player with no intent but to completely stop that player in their tracks. It is the ultimate test of one on one strength and becomes the basis for a football game. The offense tries to break tackles while the defense works to perfect it. Well here at the NNFL were looking to change all that. Why you may ask, do we attempt to change the most fundamental aspect of a football game? Thats easy, to protect the players brains. The same brains that chose to play the sport that they love.

The best way we felt we could accomplish this is to fine them about .01% of their salary. This way we become annoying to them but not to the point that they want to protest too much. We are also having our refs call twice as many penalties in order to enforce our new ideas. This may cause the game to last twice as long and completely break up a teams rhythm, but thats okay because the players will be safer.

Finally in order to facilitate this change we are starting with our young players who are just learning the sport. We want to change the future of the sport. Here are some examples of how we are teaching our new players to tackle:

1) Slow down as you approach the player. Even though you've been sprinting right beforehand you have to slow yourself down as to not hurt the other player.

2)Whatever you do, don't use your helmet. This weapon on top of your head may have been invented so that you could tackle more efficiently but its too dangerous for the offense. So were just going to penalize everyone who even thinks about using it in the game.

3)Don't even think about hitting them around the head. Especially quarter-backs, since we want them to continue to dominate the league we can't have a defensive player hit him too hard. It might hurt his pride too much.

With all these steps in place, we hope to make the NNFL a better place in the future, for everyone except defense. Who needs them anyway.