Its Cool Guy!

Of all the things that I love in the world, being the coolest kid in school is my specialty. It’s actually pretty easy to do as well. Just follow these steps and you will be everyone’s best friend in no time.

1. First, never be yourself. Nobody wants to talk to someone who is genuine. What a bore! The best way to do this is to put on a persona; you know, like that cool guy on Jersey Shore or something. Act like this all the time and you can be the most interesting man in the world. Nobody could resist listening to you talk about your true life experiences of doing drugs and being a man-whore.

2. Next, find a kid in school that looks down on his luck. You are going to want to be a total d-bag to him. Sounds hard, but it’s not. Just go up to him and say things like “nice glasses nerd”, or “like the shirt, loser!” But make sure you are around all of the popular kids when this is done. When you do this, they will all think that you are so “totes awes” and will immediately invite you to every party-ever. It is a win-win situation.

3. Lastly, wear short-sleeved shirts, under long-sleeved shirts, under short-sleeved shirts. This is crucial. If you’re going to act like a cool person, you need to dress like an ass. You know what they say, dress for success or prepare for failure. I find this to be one of the most effective tactics to get yourself noticed as a really cool guy.

Remember that all of these things are guaranteed to make you well known as the coolest kid in school. I did all of these things, so you should too! That or you could just be a good person and stop acting like the world revolves around you.