If a contest existed, and I'm not saying it's gonna happen, but if a contest existed to determine who was the chillest and most stoic individual on the surface of the earth, my neighbor Connor would come in third behind Bill Murray and Jeffrey "the dude" Lebowski. The kid could not be more calm, cool, and collected if he tried. Over the course of my two and a half year journey with him, I have heard him say about a dozen sentences total -- and I've sat next to him about a dozen times. However, probably as a side effect of him being such a first-rate tycoon, I've learned quite a bit about him.
He plays soccer like a champ
Every time he speaks, the room goes silent in awe
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Connor Lakofka isn't playing
I'm pretty sure my sister knows his sister
In five years, Connor will be saying goodbye to him alma mater and saying hello to his professional soccer career.
Connor has a golden aura to him; he communicates prestige and wisdom. He's basically a golden retriever in that he's as calm and respectable as he can possibly be, but clearly has some fight to him. I'm glad to have such a class-A neighbor in English class.
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