Golf?

Now, to the average person a golf club is used for nothing more than hitting a tiny ball into a hole, or to use as a self defense weapon. However, I can prove that wrong. my function as a 9 iron isn't to perform any of that conformist golf club activity. Why, I execute the task that many people need. Day in and day out, I sit on the wall where the bed is lying against, minding my own business. Sometimes when the handsome master is out, I like to watch television with the other nightstand items. I'm more of a nocturnal performer anyway.

However, when night comes everything changes. No longer do I serve as a useless stick of metal in which rich people like to use to attempt to be athletic. Nor do I serve the barbaric function of low-budget gang members too poor to purchase a gun to beat others into submission. No, instead I serve my handsome master as the light-switcher. No longer does he have to get out of bed and walk all the way to the door to turn off the light. Instead, while he is comfortably tucked in, all he has to do is grab me by the handle and maneuver me to the light switch, and slam on it to turn off the lights.

Who says golf clubs are useless?