I'm Surrounded By Tools--Sounds Like a Nickleback Concert

As much as I'd love to play the role of that spontaneous guy with all the awesome doohickeys, like Doc from Back to the Future, I've never seen myself go that route.

Or have I? It may not be that I'm particularly non-gadget-dependent but that I'm just no more dependent than anyone else in America. I could make the case that I'm practically braving it like Bear Grylls: navigating the abstemious everyday landscape toting just a phone, a wallet, and keys. But think about it. Even a dinky non-smart phone like mine constitutes about 200 gadgets in one; a wallet wields several critical documents and one certain green document covered in faces and numbers that practically lets me acquire any gadget I may desire on my journeys; and keys promise the awesome power of access to not only a home CHOCK FULL of tools but also one particular internal-combustion tool that makes all the rest of my gadgets look superfluous.

So compared to the austere subsistence on the bare necessities of life that not even all modern humans enjoy, my claim of lack of reliance on tools looks ridiculous if not outright ignorant. But, what if you somehow compiled a list of every person in the United States whose family earns an upper-middle class income like my own, and then you found out how many doohickeys each one of these people totes around on an average day? I think my number would probably fall below the average.

So, maybe I'm decadent, but so are you, so don't go around calling me a tool.