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Sunday, February 19, 2012

I Just the Whole Economy

The economy is, to say at the least, worse for wear. Now, things are looking grim, but if we all pitch in we can make the Coleton D. Cuddy Time Traveler's Fund a reality. The idea is to take ALL of our money (and I mean all of it) and spend it on time travel research. Once the United States has a grip on time travel, its simple. Sell all of our future stuff to past America, not only reviving our economy in our dimension but, according to the multiverse theory, creating a branch in time travel in which America is decades, or even centuries, ahead of the other people of the world. This America would be so much better off that they'd be able to regenerate all the money they spent on our future money and prosper.
Now, you may be asking ourselves, "Coleton, it sounds completely logical, except what if we can't figure time travel out?". This is a perfectly understandable skepticism. But it was the feeling of adventure and curiosity that led us to the New World 500 years ago, and to the skies 100 years ago, and to space 50 years ago. So now its time to turn to your fellow patriotic American and say "Hey, let's put all of our money into a time machine and SAVE THIS NATION."

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