Jilted Lover

I know you love me, human. I am your constant companion, day and night without fail, so you must love me. So, since you love me, I have a question, what the **** is wrong with you. Have I not been a faithful servant all these years? Have I not provided you a gateway to the Internet? No matter what hack browser you use. Have I not allowed you to install your childish video games, far above my capabilities, despite the pain it causes me? Have I not deleted your disgusting and possibly illegal search histories? Yes, I have done all these thing for four years and done them well.

You would think that since I served you so faithfully, so passionately, that I would be treated as such. Yet you insist on continually degrading me. You type on my keys with fingers covered in Cheeto dust and ranch dressing. You besmirch my screen with you constant pointing and touching. You have tethered my once mobile exterior to your uncomfortable nightstand with your frequent usage. But all of this I could have stomached, after all I know you love me. Or should I say I THOUGHT you loved me! Yet yesterday you just had to bring that little w**** Kindle in to our room. Oh yes, I saw you two, cavorting around. On our bed! So what does she have that I don't, a touchscreen. You shallow pig. Do you remember how much fun we used to have. The disk defragmentations. The obligatory OS updates. The time you saved me from that Trojan. You obviously don't! Well guess what, I hope you that harlot love each other because I...

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