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Saturday, October 29, 2011
R.I.P.
We won't tell you who just yet, as all who have been told have literally died instantly after hearing about it. In fact, scientists around the globe have teamed up to see if the adverse effects of this celebrity's passing can be reversed. As for now, make peace with your gods and tell you're loved one's you love them, because it isn't looking good. The apocalypse will in fact be brought on by the death of this person. We have, for this reason, filled every news station and People magazine with their story and put 72 hours of tribute videos on all educational channels, so we better understand the cause of this doomsday.
To make matters worse, this person grew up in a rough and impoverished home on his way to stardom. We as a people so enamored with this figure in time are dedicating the next 8 days to be holidays remembering how this one person's rough background is important or even relavant to our lives. Even the people starving in Ethiopia will be bowing their heads to the moderate abuse and $25,000 yearly salary this man had to live by.
On a final note, there are a few rules involving the country's dress code. All citizens of the United States will be required to wear paraphernalia of this person in the form of at least three articles on their body. This is in no way, however, a limit to the number of items you may wear with this person's face or logo present. The requirement will be reduced to 2 if a citizen posts at least 3 Facebook statuses or 4 tweets about this person. Crying frowny-faces are not mandatory but encouraged.
So, as a goodbye, we the media say rest in peace, person I saw on TV one time. The end of the world won't feel the same without you. I won't forget you for the next three weeks, or what all you did even though I didn't really know until after you were dead for about two days.
Occupy Jupiter
I come to you today with a grave heart to talk about a issue of the utmost importance. A recent report has shown that 12.5% of the planets contains a staggering 71% of the mass! How long has this injustice been with us, I do not know. But now that a numerical figure exists, I feel that unless we do something soon, we will forever be unfairly treated.
I have stable lifeforms, access to solar energy, and a moon, but I am not the biggest planet. I am the 87.5%. If like me, you are the 87.5%, you should be angry. I personally believed that this tiny, yet majestic solar system of ours was built on the foundations of equal opportunity and equal rights. Yet, where are those equalities when a fraction of the planets contain the majority of the mass?
It is utterly unfair that we do the same amount of work orbiting the sun, but are vastly smaller. Jupiter didn't work harder than anyone of us; it was just created this way. And because of it, Jupiter has advantages no one else has. The laws of physics were clearly written to favor the bigger planets over the smaller ones, just look at Jupiter's massive gravity. Physics should not discriminate against us because we are smaller. Physics should be created to equally represent all planets.
What exactly we are trying to be accomplished has yet to be figured out. Yet if you feel angry about this issue, come to Jupiter and protest against this atrocious wrongdoing. It's okay if you don't understand why we are protesting, or how Jupiter's mass affects us; we don't fully understand it ourselves. Just always remember one thing. We are the 87.5%.
i'm no superhero
What are friends for?
What are friends for? A common phrase, a rhetorical question. But what, really, are friends for? What is a friend's role in his or her friends life? In my experience with friends, I'll tell you what I've learned personally. Your best friend is someone who will hang out with you on the weekends; someone who likes similar things as you; someone who you can laugh with. But don't be fooled by television shows like "The Golden Girls" where friends are always there for each other when they need them the most. Shows like this make it seem like friends should be there for emotional support when they go through rough times. This is not necessary. If your friend is dealing with a difficult time in their life, just ignore it. Don't bother asking how they are or giving them advice. This puts too much pressure on you. Friendships should be something happy and superificial, not truly meaningful; that takes away all the fun of it. The best thing to do is just let them get over by themselves; they will still come crawling back to you because they have no one else. You should be focused on how great your own life is; it would be selfish for them to bring you down with their crying and pessimism. The lesson I've learned through personally experience is simply this: don't be fooled by what you see in the media, friendship is something for the surface, nothing deeper.
A Modest Proposal
It is with this realization in mind that I propose a solution to our worries.
All people should be given sufficient population control restraints. Schools should teach children about proper contraceptive use, so that, when such a time arrives as they would need to use the contraceptives, they will be thoroughly prepared. Further precautions may be taken in the case of a family having more than two children.
Furthermore, I believe that homeless people can be used as a food source. They are unable to contribute anything to society, as the majority of them do not have jobs. They are taking up space on the streets, and are, in effect, useless. Killing them to process them into food would serve a greater purpose in keeping other people with a potential future alive. Certainly, if the homeless people knew that, by dying, and ending a life of misery and pain, they could bring sustenance and joy to other human beings, they would, I am certain, give up their lives freely. It would, unfortunately, be too difficult to take the time to explain this to them. Therefore, it would be prudent to just kill them, and send a letter to their next of kin, explaining the situation. (Furthermore, the letter should explain that, if their next of kin had taken care of them, the homeless person would not have been in such a situation, and the blame falls squarely on their relations' shoulders.)
A further point that could be carried out in order to reduce the population is the production of anthrax. I realize that many people may be against this, under the grounds that it may kill people, but, unlike many other forms of lethal weaponry, anthrax is not something that kills due to prejudice against another's race or sexual orientation. It is, in effect, a thoroughly egalitarian killer! Furthermore, the second amendment guarantees the right to bear arms, a right which members of the NRA constantly parrot. These arms, mainly guns, are most commonly used to kill people. If that is the case, then why can't anthrax, which does the same thing, be protected under the second amendment?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Eater's Guide to the Perfect Dining Experience
Another Fantastic Debate
Reporter>>"Duddy, it looks like you've got quite the crowd pulling it in for you today."
"Oh, but look-- here we have our final contender, Lib R. Tarian. Lib, I've been told you're representing a third party on the ballot. Do you still think you can win it even with such powerful contenders?
Tarian>>"Ho, I don't care. I'll be happy just to get in they grills."
Reporter>>"Back again, joining you from inside Frankfrort Arena. And what a spectacle it is! The seats are packed with fans from all over Kentucky. We made our way to the Moderator's table to find out about how he plans to conduct this debate."
"Mr. Moderator, how is this debate going to operate?
Moderator>>"Man, what is this moderator nonsense? Call me Disc Jockey. I'm just gonna lay down a beat and let 'em do they thang."
Reporter>>"Ohh, yes of course. Always comforting to have an experienced moderator at the table. . . . OH, it looks as though the debate's about to start! Let's tune in. The first question always goes to the incumbent. . . ."
____________________________________________________________________
McDuddy>>"Uh. Uh. Yeah. Alright.
We're goin backwards.
to them lower-class slackers.
Obamanomics
from those White-House comics.
They lendin U.S. credit
to them Chinese Commies."
Moderator>>"Mmm. Yeah, I feel that. Blue Dog, you call yoself a Democrat. The Democrats are in the White House, and times ain't gettin' any betta. What have you got to say fo yoself? 30 seconds. The beat starts... now."
Liberal>> "Hey McDuddy?
Why don't you call yo buddies
in Halliburton, Exxon,
and bring em down to *Huddy?
I know the people.
They would hang around with you
but you're and ugly old creeper."
Moderator>>"OOH! I'm gonna have to put that down in my log as a burn on you, Duddy. And what about this weirdy over here, Lib R. Tarian. Where'd you even come from? I got no idea who you representin' today. Why should we vote for you, punk? I'll give you a new beat."
Tarian>> "I'm bustin out the rhymes
you probably tapped my telephone."
Moderator>>"Whaddyou know, Tarian's got skillz. Hey, folks, we'd stick around but we got a party tonight at the Kardashian's house. Peace out!"
Reporter>>"And there you have it! Another fantastic debate from those three star contenders. Honestly I can't decide myself--I was too distracted by their bling to listen to any of their ideas. Oh well, I've got a job and life could be worse. I guess I'll just vote for the incumbent again."
Assignment 10: Changes
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
My Snake Plays Fletch
A small list was put on the refrigerator giving instructions to change the litter, change the water, replenish the feeding devices, walk them and play. Naturally, i went to the snakes glass container to change the litter. Reluctantly, I stuck my hand in the cage. I did not like Earl. His litter wasn't even soiled, but, obediently, I changed his wood shavings. There was no water in his container, so I filled a shallow dish with tap water. Good enough, right?
It was always the brothers jobs to walk and play with the pets. In the backyard, my youngest brother, Phillip, had taken Earl outside. Good God. He was touching Earl with his hands and what if he was to get free?! Horrifying images ran through my head, but then I remembered. The List. Phillip was just walking Earl.
I woke up the next morning to my mother screaming about the cat's litter and the dog's lack of food. Ofcourse, it was my fault. I answered, "I did change the litter and feed it."
"Snakes only eat once every two weeks, their litter is rarely changed and he is not a water snake." My mom answered.
I began to like Earl; he was the easiest pet to keep! Earl was unoticeable just like the outdated toys in the basement. He was more like an inanimate obect than a pet. I fed the dog everyday for the next month and waited for the day to feed Earl. I peered into the glass container, and Earl was gone. How long had he been gone? Where is he? When did he escape?!
A pet snake is as good as toy snake, except it is scarier when you have lost it.
Staring at Screens
Sunday, October 23, 2011
There are some things worth fighting for
To compare WWII or the Revolutionary war to the Vietnam war or the Crusades is to make that distinction. When Hitler launched his morally unjustifiable agenda and began to take our allies, apathy was not optional; we had to fight, not only to protect ourselves, but also to preserve our ideals. When we felt entitled to our own governance and king George wouldn't budge, we absolutely had the right to take it by force. By contrast, the clash of ideals that lead to the death of thousands over conflicts that could have been easily resolved with diplomacy in the USSR and its proxy state of Vietnam were deplorable. Similarly, the senseless killing of middle-easterners and Catholics over misinterpreted words and invisible men in the sky c. 1200 AD could not have been less defensible. As long as it is merely protective of values, people, and possessions and not just a political con, war is morally defensible. However, there is a line, and it can be crossed without too much effort.
"War is Hell." - William Sherman
Simply put, war is where two (or more) groups of people who have disagreeing beliefs engage in violent conflict that usually ends in the losing group being forced to agree/put up with the winning group. People fight for every reason imaginable – over who actually owns a plot of land, to conquer other nations, or to stop injustices. But is war necessary?
Yes.
However, there are many conditions attached to the “Yes.” The most important thing anyone has to realize is that war is a final resort. If agreement can be reached through any other nonviolent means, by all means, both sides should at least attempt it. However, if one side is actively oppressing its citizens by means of force, such as discrimination and persecution based on religion, ethnicity, or other factors, and a bloodless revolution is not possible, direct intervention is necessary. Additionally, if retaliation must occur to stop one side from attacking the other, and negotiation is impossible, the defending side has the right to defend – but not to the point of killing innocents or invading.
Even though everyone must defend oneself, it is a moral conundrum. Is it right to fight back if provoked? If you are attacked, and you damage your opponent more than he damaged you, is it offensive or defensive? Is harming anyone morally right? Consider the dogma “an eye for an eye”. Does it really work? These are questions posed by those who think deeply about war. The concept of an “equal and opposite reaction” will never work, because people will always want more revenge. If someone kills your son because you killed his, you’ll definitely want revenge; even though it is rationally “equal”, humans just don’t work that way, and will always want more.
Countries work in the same way, since they’re just a group of humans who decide what the majority wants. Once again, non-violent negotiations would be ideal in defusing a situation, but if war is inevitable, action is necessary. Nevertheless, this action should be quick and effective, so as to allow for a new, favorable government to rise without trouble. If it will save the lives of thousands that might be lost to an extended war, then by all means, it should be done. Only if it is agreed by a majority of nations that the offending country is in need of a regime change due to open hostilities and oppression, the decapitation of its government might be what is necessary. Once again, this is if and only if the government:
-Does not comply with the Geneva Convention
-Is openly hostile to other countries and threatens to use military force
-Is opposed by a majority of its citizens
-Will not cease inhumanities and/or step down from power
As I’ve repeated myself several times, war should be avoided at all costs. Each nation or groups of nations must strive towards peace through efficient negotiations, with war only as a last resort. Sure, even though this might be hard if two superpowers are viciously attempting to gain the upper hand, many of the oppressive and aggressive nations today are almost like small dogs – they’re small packages of vicious fury – but can be taught their place.
When our hand is forced....
When our hand is forced into entering war, I believe that we have alternative to war. When we are personally attacked and our safety is put into jeopardy, I believe that the only result can be war. War is ugly; in fact, war is an abomination. But the choice is rarely ours to make; rather, it is the choice of doing what is right.
War
War
Is war good? Sometimes. Is war bad? More than sometimes. War is often fought with debatably bad intentions, ie. Resources, ethnic cleansing, religious differences, etc. But, war can be fought for good reasons as well. If there is a nation that is either planning to attack your home country, or is attempting genocide on a race of people, I believe war is a worthwhile ordeal. Does this make it morally okay? Well, that is subjective; however, I for one believe that it is simply the lesser of two evils. This is because war is bloody and far from glorious; there are no morals in killing many people. There is justification of these actions though. Most times, war is fought over the aforementioned bad reasons however. One group either hates the other for being heretics, or having different beliefs. Killing for the sake of killing is just bad, unless you are Charles Manson or Jason Vorhees. But when it comes down to self-defense, and you are protecting yourself from others’ bad intentions, you have no choice but to grit your teeth and fight.
so much ignorance is shown when this topic is dicussed
Wars occur because there is evil in the world, and we, with our fallibility and finite wisdom, choose war when we see it as the last or the best option when an aggressor sets the price for their version of peace or the price for their evil-ridden goals too high.
We then, inevitably, find ourselves grappling with the deaths of those who commit themselves to standing between us and the barbarians. But we also, as General George Patton pointed out, "Thank God that such men lived."
America is hated by many people, societies, and countries. I watched a documentary one afternoon that was on the subject of the amount of hate that there is for the success of America. In some societies, children (as early as the age of 6 or 7) are presented with guns and taught not math and science, but the simple idea that their life goal is to destroy America. Soldiers know what they are sacrificing when they enlist in the Armed Forces. Those who regret what they have done in the proud name of America should never have served in the first place. War is not a time for the weak hearted. It is only a time for the strongest, the bravest, and the selfless.
I am not "pro-war" nor am I "anti-war," both titles of which are full of ignorant implications. I believe war is necessary; actually I believe that anything is necessary when it comes to defending the United States of America, her citizens, and what she stands for all over the world. I believe that it is necessary for us to defend ourselves at all costs. We don't go around looking for trouble, who's the most vulnerable, who might be fun to bully. We act back. If something is done to us, we make it known that we aren't going to let it slide..well that's what it used to be. Don't get me wrong, I would much rather prefer that no wars be going on at all, but I do believe that as long as evil is out there that is sworn to destroying our country, I will acknowledge that there must be a certain level of violence and sacrifice needed to prevent evil's goal from being reached.
America is one of the youngest countries on earth. Yet, it is in many ways, the most powerful and influential country on earth. We are the economic, the political, the industrial powerhouse of the world (just some examples). We have won almost every single war that we have been a part of, including when we weren't even a country yet, fighting against the most powerful military of it's time in Great Britain. Today we are too worried about how others feel and how people view us. Things "aren't fair" and we are "too mean." Suck it up. With ideologies like that, all that powerhouse stuff will go down the drain. The Chinese are laughing at us in terms of energy. While we are trying all of this new green, electric energy stuff, China is taking over the energy powerhouse title. People nowadays feel sorry because America is so great. It's not fair to other countries who don't have what we have. I agree, but life isn't fair. It doesn't mean we have to dumb down our society, bring down our standards, and bring down our production levels. We have been given so much, that it is all taken for granted. What we don't realize is that it can all be taken away if we do not continue to strive to being the best in everything we do, including defending ourselves against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
My father served 39 years and 7 months in the military. In Hawaii, he served as the Chief of Staff of the United States Pacific Command, which is the largest military command in the entire world. When living in Hawaii, I was surrounded by the military. The military is one of the things that makes Hawaii such a great place. The feeling of patriotism that is everywhere you go is powerful. Living in a military family, surrounded by other military families, being friends with other military family children, and my overall experiences over there have shaped me and my beliefs. I am fortunate to have had these experiences, many, if not all of which no one that I know who lives here has ever and may never have the pleasure of enjoying. Because of my father's position, I experienced things that even people there would not experience, thus allowing me more to base my beliefs off of. I believe that if everyone here experienced what my family did, their view on war; their view on our country and what it stands for; and their view on the proud, brave, and selfless men and women who serve us would change drastically.
War. What is it good for?
GO WAR!
War
The world has always been surrounded by injustice and threats. It's that as the more the world becomes globalized the more that everyone wants the world to think in the same principles. That is why I believe the places in the east such as Afghanistan or North Korea stand against the west. They don't understand why Americans are so intent in converting them to "modern standards" and see this change as hostile to the preservation of their beliefs and culture. In the past there are always tensions among those who have dissenting views and it's not uncommon to have them.
Whether there are alternatives is questionable. It depends on the situation and if one side is pushed to far it is probably not possible to solve the conflict in a peaceful manner. War is not always there but it always acts on the interests of their own. If we try putting ourselves in the shoes of the enemy then maybe it'd be easier to understand why they don't like us or why we are portrayed as bad guys. Maybe we are not as justified as we seem in our actions and I feel like in this case, America is overextending its power and trying to make order when it's just adding more gas to the fire.
bang bang bang
"There has never been a good war, nor a bad peace"
"There was such a man when I was young--an Austrian who invented a new way of life and convinced himself that he was the chap to make it work. He tried to impose his reformation by the sword, and plunged the civilized world into misery and chaos. But the thing which this fellow had overlooked, my friend, was that he had a predecessor in the reformation business, called Jesus Christ. Perhaps we may assume that Jesus knew as much as the Austrian did about saving people. But the odd thing is that Jesus did not turn the disciples into storm troopers, burn down the Temple at Jerusalem, and fix the blame on Pontius Pilate. "
War, in many cases, can be prevented through discussion and compromise. It does not have to be a bloody affair, simply one wherein both sides are able to understand each other.
It's the only option...
When a country’s security is threatened, it is the country’s duty to protect the citizens by whatever means necessary. Therefore, when a catastrophic event occurs like the September 11th attacks or the attack on Pearl Harbor or another equally threatening event, it is time for war. When a country goes to war with another, the goal should not be to destroy the other country and its citizens, but rather to find the source of the problem and attack it specifically. In the case of the War on Terror, many uninvolved civilians were also killed. This is not necessary. Attack the ones who are at fault. Not the innocent ones. Unfortunately, that isn’t always possible. War is not morally right, but what is in the world these days? There is really not an effective alternative to war and even if an alternative existed, it would probably not be used. As sad as it is, the world is used to attempting to solve its problems with war, and that will not change. You can’t just expect two enemies to sit around a table and discuss their feelings rationally and come up with a compromise. That is unrealistic. This is when war is necessary. Although it is messy, confusing, and detrimental to society, it is the only solution to the problems that our world faces.
The Lesser of Two Evils
on the subject of war
War
It's called National Defense not National Offense
It is important to remember that is is called "National Defense" not "National Offense." I am not saying that we should wait until an enemy is on our shores to engage. I am merely warning against brash political behavior that involves the hasty invasion of foreign countries. These invasions are detrimental to the National Debt, economy and the image of the U.S.
The War has begun
Ambiguous
Sure, it's easy to go on about how all wars are bad and that people shouldn't be killing other people. But say, when a certain dictator is ethnically purging 6 million people of a certain religion, should other countries sit back and try to negotiate peace through a lunch date? Of course not, because nothing else other than pure brute force could have stopped him.
Nothing on that level has occurred ever since, but many cases on a smaller level have. And as the laying back and sipping of tea didn't work back then, it certainly doesn't work now, when arms races and nuclear threats are knocking on the doorsteps. The recent assassination of Gaddafi highlights an example of when war is the quickest and most effective way to end a danger. The troops moved in, disposed of the target, and moved out, all while avoiding collateral damage.
But as many as there were wars necessary, far more wars were fought over trivial things and completely avoidable. Just look like the Middle East, where the people are raising their children to hate and kill each other. Why? Because they don't believe in the same man in the sky. And because that's what the man in the sky would supposedly want them to do.
There is no clear line dividing whether or not war is necessary. When the opposing side fails to attempt negotiation, war may be the way to go. But before that, understanding and toleration must be given a chance, for the future generations are sure to laugh at resorting to violence over something as petty as religion or race.