Am i boring? Never!

I my friends am the most useless, and yet essential thing to ever have existed. without me back problems would arise everywhere, there would be a panic. I am a chair. Everyday i wait patiently for someone to come and sit on me. Do you know why i chose to do this job? because when you sit on me it feels like a hug, and i enjoy hugs. i really enjoy when people sit upon me, but i really hate when strange animals bite me and sit on me. Do you like not taking a shower for weeks on end? I didnt think so, neither do i and that is why i hate animals. sometimes though, when you are sitting on me and you are miss behaving i will purposefully let you fall to shame you. everyone will laugh at you, and then you will sit quietly and the "hug" will feel better than ever. i may be cruel, but i do it for your own good. i am a chair, and without me? the world would end!