A Dissertation on My Consummation and Superb Lexis

Many people have asked me how I came to such success in my life. Because with my four Nobel Prizes and countless other awards hanging on my constantly-dusted walls, who wouldn't want to be me? Whenever I'm asked this question, I consider what everyone who is a success does. And after careful thought and examination, I came up with one all-encompassing strategy: good vocabulary; or, as the more educated might call it, reginalistics.

You may think this is ludacris. How can one person's personality be changed by changing your vocabulary? Well, observe the following conversation.

Student #1: Oh gee whiz, I got a 91 on my test!

Student #2: How pluperfect of you!

Student #1: (I don't know what that words means, but it sure does sound good.) Gee thanks!

Student #2: (What a nincompoop. That was supposed to be an insult.) No problem!

See how good and fulfilling that would make one feel? Using a word that no one has ever heard before does wonders for one's ego! Just imagine what it would do for your social status!

It doesn't even matter if the word fits in the context (as you can see in the word pluperfect); in fact, it doesn't even have to be a real word (such as reginalistics; bless those who were trying to figure that word out). Statistics say that nearly 58% of people will not look up a word used in conversation with them. Those are some teewisting numbers!

See how self-important it makes the person feel in this example:

Person #1: What did you think of the movie? I found it rather gardimatic.

Person #2: (Oh no, I wonder what gardimatic means? Let's see....how should I respond?) Yes, I thought so too?
Person #1: And my mother said that the acting was so uniformacious, but which part says that to you?

Person #2: (Oh no, specific example! Oh here goes..) When she finds her true love.

Person #1: (Haha he must not know what uniformacious means. What a lost soul. Oh well.) Yeah, me too. See you later! (What an uneducated man!)
How write the number two is to say that! People without refined vocabularies simply don't have enough lumifinessence to see through their durwess. In fact, if someone doesn't have a good vocabulary, don't you think they ought to be kurvized by their society! Flube? Or asbena?

Turkinsteened in a periodical in the propitious year of 2011.