It isn't just AN American feast, it is THE American feast. As the classic image of an extended southern family sits down to say grace before a bucolic and beautifully adorned dining table, tricked out with a wicker turkey and carnations and candles, all is silent but for the voice of a singled out child or a carefully selected uncle to give thanks. After a generic, but still genuine and heartfelt speech, an excited "Amen!" bursts from the crowd in unison as if to say "Thank god that's over with; I'm starved." Then, almost as soon as it started, the unity breaks. The little kids go to the serving table first with their parents, then come the adults, then the grandparents. Finally, after all this is done, the unmarried and virtually alienated 12 to 20 somethings get their turn at the remaining casseroles, turkey and stuffing. This is where i usually fit in.
The parents quickly seat their little tykes in their little chair at the midget card table which is, in fact, so small that it makes you wonder where anybody could find such a petite thing. Those picky eaters start slopping away at their potatoes, macaroni, and dry turkey; they're just too young to enjoy the good parts of the meal. Next, the same proud parents rush over to their table so they can get a good spot to watch their kids. They, of course, have artfully selected their food and placed all of it precariously stacked on a novelty porcelain thanksgiving platter. The grandparents and great uncles and aunts follow suit, but tend to be less worried about what's on their plate so much as how well everyone else is enjoying the meal. Finally, at long last, the remainder of us outcasts get sent to the overflow table which is adorned exclusively by a stick of hard butter and a cruddy flower. There just wasn't enough room at the gussied up dining table, so we get sent here instead.
I look at my fellows. I see the libertarian one that got sent to jail for a year directly across from me. I see the gay one who lives alone in New York sitting to my left. I see the Aspergers kid sit down to my right. Then I see me, the one liberal atheist kid who thinks it just might be worth it to go to school out of state (the nerve). We have our conversation, and we have it gladly. It's not awkward at all, just good food and chit-chat between my fellow outcasts. However, we tread carefully around the elephant in the room. We all know why none of us is at the main table.
After the meal, the falsely homogenized mass of people resumes their facade of togetherness talking and chatting idly of the holidays and news. The curtain which was so briefly raised has been once again lowered.
All in all, thanksgiving is a great opportunity to revisit my relatives. We're all together in merry unison talking about the neighbors or planning out the black Friday shopping spree. But in all this lovey-dovey merriment, one can clearly see, if only for the hour it takes to enjoy a meal, that we were never as together as we'd like to pretend. A line in the sand has been drawn as clear as day, and one only needs to peek under the thanksgiving tablecloth hastily thrown over it to see that it's still there. It's only when we are all giving thanks listening to a short prayer that the togetherness can really settle in. It is at that point, and at that point only, that we are truly together.